Sunday, May 20, 2012

Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore

Whoa!  6 days since I've blogged?!  Sorry, it's been a busy week.  

First, I worked my ass off.  almost 80hrs in 5 days.  This sugar mama business is exhausting. 

Then, The Boop came home.   He met me at our company's annual EMS Appreciation Dinner.   The Boop won Paramedic of the Year! 

Yesterday was our anniversary.  I cannot believe it's been a year.  I can honestly say I love him more now then the day we got married.   We had an awesome dinner at the restaurant he proposed at.  It was so good.  I had steak and what was almost the best dessert I've ever had (the best dessert ever came with a sparkly ring).  The we got to witness one of the most horrific proposals ever.  Seriously.  So, so bad.  

Today, I drove down to the Frat House in MD.   I thought it would be nice of me to make the boys some Sunday sauce.   Big ole pot, with a bunch left over for them to freeze and eat later. 

I just got out of the shower.  And that's really the only reason I even opened my macbook tonight.  This had to be documented.   The shower tried to kill me.  Serious face.  Maybe it was the shower head, maybe its the well water, I don't know.  Either way, I almost died.  

Take a look at the shower, noting its size:

Does this look like a shower large enough to have a dual head shower head?  Cause it has one!!

I turned the water on, waiting for it to warm up, so I can adjust, then I hop in.  At first it was good.  Then I noticed all the water.  Spraying in every fucking direction.  I couldn't get away from it.  One of the jets was assaulting my head, causing shampoo to dive right into my eye.  If you've ever gotten soap in your eyes, while wearing contacts, then you know how soap likes to hang out for a minute. 

As if the water torture wasn't enough, the temperature changed.  One head was scalding hot, and the other ice cold.  By this time I'm plastered against the wall, trying to stay out of the path of the hot water, which I was convinced was being spewed from the mouth of the Devil himself.  At one point i had to check the floor of the shower for my nipple.  I was sure it was either burned off, or it had jumped clear off my tit, trying to save itself.  I tried to grab the knob, but there was no room for error in this tiny closet of hell.  It took 3 attempts.  3 painful attempts.

Finally!!  I reached it.   Ahhhh, thats bett-ICE COLD.  The cold was more tolerable than the hot, but holy crap was it cold.  I turned the knob to the left, like, a centimeter.  And this time I was treated to scalding hot water from BOTH shower heads.  The shampoo sud kamikazes were working over time now.  This was a battle I was losing.   I had to call The Boop for help. 

As soon as he walked in, the water behaved itself.  It was glorious.  I thought maybe it just needed to warm up a bit, so I called false alarm.   I swear to Jesus Horatio, The Boop's hand was not off the door knob a second, and the water went ape shit.  Again.  

I turned the cold water on and rinsed as fast as I could.  Next time I come down here, I'm bringing a new shower head.   The devil head may have won this battle, but when I come at it with a wrench and rip it from the wall, I'm going to win the war. 

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