Nervous Nelly

A few things happened on my recent drive down to MD.    This whole driving business is new for me.  Ok, not so new.  I've been driving legally for 15yrs now, and before that I was driving my drunk stepfather home from the bar.   So, almost 20yrs.   I've always loved driving.   Especially when I was a smoker.  Oh man, spring time, windows down, Metallica blasting, smoking a cigarette in my Ford Probe GT.   I was so cool.   Then I started working in EMS.   Now, driving and I are no such good friends anymore. 

Driving my civilian vehicle is completely different then driving my work vehicle.  People drive like such assholes, it really is unbelievable.   Add my ridiculous anxiety that I experience 24/7, and I'm like a chihuahua behind the wheel.  Holding on tight at 10 & 2, checking my mirrors, trying to stay aware of everything on the road....it's exhausting.

Take all of that, and add in the fact that I am deathly afraid of bridges.   I have this fear either A) the bridge will collapse and I will plummet to my death.  Only I wont die on impact, I will drown trying to get out of the car.  And if by some chance I DO get out (always cross a bridge with the windows down for an easy escape) I will either get tangled up in river flora or, I will be blinded by vehicle fuel, and not be able to tell which way to swim, subsequently swimming to my own death;   OR B) there will be a heinous wreck, cars will pile up, and somehow, in a freak accident, my car will suffered a dual smash causing me to go airborne and fly over the side of the bridge, and again, plummeting to my death.   Sounds like a good time, right?   Yeah, well, I drove over the Bay Bridge.

6.9 miles of wide open bridge.  I almost shit my pants.   I knew it was something that probably wasn't in my best interest, but The Boop insisted this route was faster, and more importantly, he was adamant I couldn't do it.   Fuck. You. Guy.   I drove it.   And, I will never, ever do it again. 

The rest of my drive was no where near as exciting, but I did witness a phenomenon I can only describe as Florida rain.  I had never seen it before, though I had heard it happens.  I was driving on one side of the highway, enjoying a beautifully sunny day, while the opposite side of the road was treated to pouring rain and clouds.   I drove along, first amazed that that type of weather really does exist, then I was boasting, 'nanner nanner, I'm in the sun' and that quickly passed when I drove directly into the eye of a hurricane.   Ok, it wasn't really a hurricane, but holy crap was there a lot of rain.  

And finally, I turned 75 somewhere along the trip.   As much as I hate driving, I usually do a good job keeping with the flow of traffic, and I can perform the jersey slide really well.   Not this trip.  Somewhere just before Delaware, I noticed myself in the right lane.  Doing 50mph.  Singing along to DMB.  Chillin.  In a 65mph zone.   I still made it home in less than 4 hrs.  And not a single fuck was given that day.